Many thanks to my friend Brian for warning me about South Korean Fan Death. God only knows how many times I have very narrowly escaped those hungry jaws of death that circulate air through my hot bedroom on summer nights. Just think, if I had closed my window before going to sleep, I wouldn’t be here posting this today! I count myself blessed. Shudder to think of the horrible deaths others have endured when their friendly household fan “chops up all the oxygen particles in the air leaving none to breathe”—how horrible!
The good news is: there’s hope. Tell your family, your friends, and your neighbors. Shout it from the rooftops. The fans must be stopped! (only right before you go to sleep)
Who would have thought a common house fan is capable of breaking down molecules? Just think of all the money those stupid physicists have wasted on atom smashers and particle colliders.
I sent this article to a friend of mine, who is Korean. Here is his reply:
Lol my mom actually used to make me turn the fan off before I fell asleep hahahahaha
Wow.
Conservation of matter be damned.
BEWARE OF THE SOUTH KOREAN DEATH FAN!