Man, I’m getting old. perhaps too old to be working in a campus coffee shop. Today a student came up to the counter, and I was already prejudiced against him. he has long, curly hair that he somehow manages to poof out in all directions, and he wears gaudy, intentionally tacky and attention-seeking clothing. I had seen him come around before, asking for internet passwords when he hadn’t bought anything (a purchase is required to use the wireless internet at the cafe), and I’d seen him hanging out with various other slacker hipsters who have made it this far in life solely on their parents’ finances. it’s a bit unnerving to see a bunch of kids who don’t work for a thing dressing the way I did when I was a child because they think it’s cool, when I had no choice because we coudn’t afford new clothes. so this kid walks up to the counter and says, “happy latte day.” our wednesday special is “$2 any-size latte”.

“I’m sorry?” I said, not quite sure what he was saying to me.

“I’ll have a latte,” he answers.

“Okay,” I say, “what size?”


“I’m sorry?”

“A soy latte.”

“Okay, what size?”


“Alright, that’ll be $2.70.” Two for the latte, fifty cents for the soy milk, and tax.

“Oh, you’re one of those people,” he says.


“Uh, you’re one of the people that charges me extra for soy.”

“Well, that’s what we do.”

“It’s okay.”

I really had to fight back the urge to jump over the counter and strangle the fucker. And thoughts of violence continue to stream through my head. I think it’s time for me to get moving along. C’mon, folks, let me go to grad school! it is probably in everyone’s best interest.

anyway…sorry if the website has been up and down over the last couple of days. apparently there have been a few technical difficulties on florida drive…but they might be worked out by now. please notice the new poem.

Have a good night, everyone!

One thought on “Senioritis?”

  1. I think you should have killed’em…a man doens’t know who is true friends are until he needs to hide a body….

    your post gave a inspirtaion to write a story centered around a coffeeshop…a former cop, kicked off the force, takes a job as a barista to find the “coffee killer,” solves mysterys in the mean time, and learns about life! Think of the possibilities for guest stars!

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