I embrace this body as if were mine, to own;
it helps me to experience sensations
of being alive and free and loved.
The warmth of skin, the scent of hair,
the weight and pressure and softness,
like a warm clean blanket,
give me a sense of security.
But I don’t assume that a blanket is mine to keep,
simply because I slept more comfortably in its presence.
I awake refreshed, grateful for a good night’s sleep;
I go through my day, not worried about the coming night’s comfort.
Your embrace terrifies me, because I cannot stand the uncertainty
when you let go.
Your scent slowly fades from memory, replaced by the fear
that I will never again sleep peacefully.