I sat at the mirror and studied myself,
trying desperately to find the muscle
that would allow me to wiggle my ears.
I held my fingers at my temples,
smiled, frowned, and adjusted my eyebrows
in every conceivable position,
but my ears didn’t move, even slightly.
I broke a sweat in the process,
my girlfriend came and went with
a disapproving glance, but I didn’t want
to risk it, there could be a chance that
I’d stumble upon the secret, now as alluring
to me as the holy grail, dark matter, or the prize
buried in the box of breakfast cereal.
If I can master this, I thought, then what’s to stop me
from learning to fly, or mastering telekinesis?
I read on the internet later that a person
could learn to wiggle ears by way
of a few properly placed electrodes
which stimulate the right muscles,
so the person can find them.
It takes a serious effort
to refrain from taking apart my electric razor
and wiring it up to my head.
It would be a small price to pay for enlightenment.
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