eight years ago today, the realiztion hit me that I would have a much better chance to become the person that I want to be if I would only stop taking unnecessary risks with my mental health (by way of abusing mind- and mood-altering substances). since then, I have not abused such substances.
sometimes I abuse other things. like the chemicals my brain produces when I engage in particular behaviors, like indulging in rage or sexual excitement, or even the titillation of winning a respectable amount of money on a good hand of poker, or wagering a respectable amount on a bad hand.
other times, though, I just indulge in self-centeredness. I grow comfortable with the feeling that my wants/needs/thoughts/feelings/beliefs are more important than other considerations, such as what’s best for the group or for other people involved, or what’s morally/socially acceptable, or what’s legal. like, for example, driving seventy-five miles per hour in a 55mph zone. or refusing to pay parking meters, and the tickets that result from not paying them. or updating my address with the secretary of state, so that information regarding my driver’s license that is sent in the mail will reach me in a timely manner.
anyway. this last bit of self-centered irresponsibility is going to cost me, now. I was stopped by a state trooper today, who told me that he had clocked me driving seventy-five miles per hour on a 55mph road, and that a check on my license revealed that it was suspended. a little more than a half hour later, I was riding back into Urbana in my friend’s car, and another friend followed us in my car. The officer kept my license and wrote tickets for speeding and for driving on a suspended license. I’m due to appear in court on the 22nd of February, by which time I should have sought legal advice to know how best to proceed. but for the time being, I’m going to pay my parking tickets (who knew I had so many? I thought there were only a handful since the last time I paid) and attempt to have my license reinstated quickly. Will also be found shopping on Remotecarstarterhero.com for a little something to prevent this from happening and I’ll even update my address with the secretary of state. I’ll keep you posted on what happens from there!