I Want to be Disgusting

when she looks at me like I am
already, sitting on the couch
with a bowl of ice cream or cereal

Goddammit
if I’m going to be punished anyway
why not really let myself go?

I could really stand to gorge myself
on double cheeseburgers dripping with grease
or donuts and coffee ’til I’m sate-sedated
eyes as glazed as the fritters and crullers
I ate

When lunch rolls around, so will I
with a Philly-cheese steak and fries, all smothered with mayo

I kinda knew what I was getting into
coming home with a Japanese non-smoker
who insists on at least one or two veggies per meal
when I could go a weak easy on meat and
cheese alone.

So when she rolls her eyes at the bulge
above of my waistline as well as below

I can’t help but think:
sex comes a few times in the best weeks
but I can eat any time I want

but goddammit when she looks at me like that, I would gladly starve if I thought
she would sit with her arm around me,
and let me know she cares.

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