Cheater

How could she give me that look except to say I Dare You? She always gives me that look, but who’s that guy? Is he her boyfriend? How can she stare at me like that? What does she want? Maybe she’s just staring back. I should stop looking at her.

***

He’ll be perfect. He’s definitely caught up with me. He’s not ready yet, though. I’ll give him some time—smile at him whenever I see him and get him worked up.

***

Hey…she’s friends with that girl. I’ve gotta say something; I’ve gotta figure out what’s going on with that girl.

“Hey…how are you? Studying alone today? Where’s your friend?”

I hope she doesn’t think I’m hitting on her.

“Oh, that’s my sister-in-law. She’s just hanging out at home; she didn’t have any studying to do tonight. I knew I wouldn’t get any work done at home.”

“Sister-in-law, huh? You’re married to her brother?”

“No, she’s married to mine…”

***

Ooh, there he is again. Maria said he asked about me last time. Turn on the sweetheart voice…

“Hi, how you doin’ today?”

He dropped his books! Try not to laugh.

“Alright, I guess…how about you?”

He doesn’t sound too flustered for having just dropped his books. Sounds like he’s been waiting to talk to me. Keep waiting, sucker.

“I’m doing okay.”

Head toward the usual seats. I bet he won’t get the courage to come talk to me until just before Maria and Raul get here, and then he won’t be able to.

***

I can’t believe I dropped the goddamned books. What a fool. God, she’ll think I’m an idiot. I can’t believe she finally talked to me. Is she just trying to be friendly? She’s married to that guy she comes in with. She’s looking again. Look away. Look away. You’re going to creep her out, look away dammit. Okay. Walk to the reference desk. Avoid her.

***

He’s ready for this. He’ll come, I’m sure of it. Hotel keycard, check. Note with room number, check. Here we go…

***

Why is she walking towards me? Try to look like you don’t see her coming.

That’s it? She’s leaving now? She didn’t say anything. What’s this? Holiday Inn?! Is this what I think? It can’t be. There’s a post-it on the other side: “Room 212—9PM.” This is some kind of fucked-up joke.

***

Okay…all set. What time is it? 8:45. Fifteen minutes to relax…lie naked on this bed. It’s almost too cold in here, but not quite…it’s perfect. This is exciting.

Here it is. 212. Jesus. Just do it. Swipe the card. Open the door. Do it.

Right on time…and he’s looking good. Nervous, but good. “Don’t say a word.”

***

“Will I get to see you again?”

“I asked you to do one goddamned thing. ‘Don’t say a word,’ I said. You men are so goddamned thick-headed. The room’s paid for. Sleep well, asshole.”

Event Horizon

When I told you I love you, you hung up on me.

The rain falls hard tonight and the lightning cracks sharply;
I fear hydroplaning and my transmission’s still acting up,
but I could’ve gotten you to Mexico.

I’m searching my memory, but I cannot recall if you’d ever said the same to me.

Somewhere beyond the storm there is a starry night,
and I keep thinking that picture of a tiny piece of sky
hiding countless stars and galaxies, invisible to the naked eye.

I didn’t hang up on you, but I think maybe I didn’t hear you right.

What are the chances that lightning like this could form life by striking a pool of dense chemicals?
What are the chances that God is on the other side of some wormhole, pulling superstrings?
What were the chances that we would hit each other when we fell away from ourselves?

Time doesn’t exist in a black hole because nothing moves at the singularity.

The time we spent together was just a fraction
of the time that we spent thinking about each other;
we hardly moved at all, but our time is gone.

Now I just need to know if there’s really a way out…